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id="i2i2jyu4k" class="Remark"> <span>2015年12月25日 14:13 | 作者:杨朝清 | 来源：<a target="_blank">光明网</a></span> <span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="fr"> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="jiathis_style_24x24"> <a class="jiathis_button_qzone"></a> <a class="jiathis_button_tsina"></a> <a class="jiathis_button_tqq"></a> <a class="jiathis_button_weixin"></a> <a class="jiathis_button_renren"></a> <a class="jiathis jiathis_txt jtico jtico_jiathis" target="_blank"></a> </div> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://v3.jiathis.com/code_mini/jia.js?uid=1399539302485450" charset="utf-8"></script> </span><span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="fr">分享到：<img src="http://www.rmzxb.com.cn/images/fx.jpg" /> </span> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="text_box"> <p align="center"> <p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">喝喜酒，要给份子钱，最近有网友吐槽：结婚时，同事包了300元份子钱。这个同事最近要辞职，竟开口要回份子钱。同事的原因似乎也有些道理：以后不会回安徽合肥市了，如果不要回来，自己包出去的红包肯定收不回来了。此帖一出，立刻引起网友热议。（12月24日人民网）</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">从古至今，同事都是重要的人脉和社会资本；通过“份子钱”，人情往来形成了一种社会关系网络?！袄裆型础弊魑八娣葑印钡囊桓龌驹?，同事之间按照心照不宣的理解和约定俗成的方式进行互信互惠的社会交换，从而避免了言“利”的庸俗与尴尬。这一次，“要回份子钱”显然打破了常规，让人震惊的同时，也引发了我们关于人情往来的讨论和反思。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">在经济市场化、人口流动化的今天，同事关系并不牢固，从而导致人情往来的可预期性大为降低?！耙胤葑忧痹谇楦猩先萌四岩越邮埽诒局噬先词抢嫠咔笙孕曰牟?。毕竟，谁都不愿意“份子钱”有去无回；这名离职同事只不过是做了一些人“想做却不敢做的事情”。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">在理想的图景里，“份子钱”作为一种社会互动的工具，只关乎心意，而不在于多寡?？墒?，在市场化、商品化进程中，人们逐渐失去了情感表达的手段，因为许多手段都是物质化的；金钱成为人们表达情感关系的最重要手段，“份子钱”的厚度往往意味着彼此之间的关系远近和情感亲疏。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">不论是“人不到礼到”，还是“收完礼金拉黑同学”，还是“每逢佳节倍吸金”，伴随着人情之实的抽离和人情内生规范的丧失，“份子钱”越来越工具化，成为功利和算计的对象?！胺葑忧奔认萑肓恕肮氐谋纭?，遭遇了竭泽而渔的开发和利用，也陷入了“囚徒困境”，让许多人难以独善其身，难以从“人情风”、“酒席风”中摆脱出来。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">酒席需要成本，婚宴的成本一桌动辄上千；这名离职同事如果参加了当事人的婚宴，“要回份子钱”就有些强人所难；如果没有参加婚宴，“要回份子钱”就有一定的合理性。与羞于言利、“谈钱伤感情”的传统社会心理相比，“要回份子钱”作为一种另类的利益表达，需要我们摘掉“有色眼镜”，多一些正视。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">份子钱也好，礼物也罢，都不过是寄托祝福、表达情感的一种载体。急剧的社会变迁，也要求我们对人情往来进行价值重塑和观念更新——酒席不是越贵也好，参加酒席的人不是越多越有“脸面”，“份子钱”也不是越多越好。让人情往来回归初衷，才会少一些“为份子钱所累”、“为红包所伤”。当份子钱不再成为年轻人的负担，当“份子钱”出自真心实意，又何来“要回份子钱”？（杨朝清）</p><p style="text-align:center"><br/></p><p><br style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;"/></p> </div> <p class="Editor">编辑：刘文俊 </p> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="Paging"> </div> <p class="Keyword">关键词：“要回份子钱” 人情往来</p> <h1 class="pv_title_2 mt_15"><a target="_blank" class="more mtb_14">更多</a><span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="t" id="a3"><a ><img src="http://www.rmzxb.com.cn/images/xg_t1.jpg" /></a></span></h1> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="pa_0_5_0_10"> <ul class="Related_ul bh_150"> <li><a target="_blank" href="/c/2015-12-25/657947.shtml">贪官狱中寻求“特殊照顾”是改造没能入心</a></li> <li><a target="_blank" href="/c/2015-12-25/657946.shtml">抖落浮躁的尘埃</a></li> <li><a target="_blank" href="/c/2015-12-25/657905.shtml">“爆买”背后的思维反差</a></li> <li><a target="_blank" href="/c/2015-12-25/657900.shtml">当我的机遇挡住你的饭碗</a></li> <li><a target="_blank" 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class="img" /><ins>李兰</ins></a> <a title="房兴耀" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/15/1041.jpg" class="img" /><ins>房兴耀</ins></a> <a title="池慧" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/15/1033.jpg" class="img" /><ins>池慧</ins></a> <a title="柳斌杰" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/13/635.jpg" class="img" /><ins>柳斌杰</ins></a> <a title="曹义孙" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/175.jpg" class="img" /><ins>曹义孙</ins></a> <a title="毛新宇" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/66.jpg" class="img" /><ins>毛新宇</ins></a> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="sliderbox" style="opacity:0; z-index:0;"> <a title="詹国枢" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/172.jpg" class="img" /><ins>詹国枢</ins></a> <a href="ti" title="朱永新" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/69.jpg" class="img" /><ins>朱永新</ins></a> <a title="张晓梅" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/171.jpg" class="img" /><ins>张晓梅</ins></a> <a title="焦加良" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/169.jpg" class="img" /><ins>焦加良</ins></a> <a title="张连起" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/167.jpg" class="img" /><ins>张连起</ins></a> <a title="龙墨" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/129.jpg" class="img" /><ins>龙墨</ins></a> <a title="王名" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/88.jpg" class="img" /><ins>王名</ins></a> <a title="何水法" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/168.jpg" class="img" /><ins>何水法</ins></a> <a title="李延生" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/166.jpg" class="img" /><ins>李延生</ins></a> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="sliderbox" style="opacity:0; z-index:0;"> <a title="巩汉林" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/70.jpg" class="img" /><ins>巩汉林</ins></a> <a title="李胜素" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/173.jpg" class="img" /><ins>李胜素</ins></a> <a title="施杰" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/124.jpg" class="img" /><ins>施杰</ins></a> <a title="王亚非" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/120.jpg" class="img" /><ins>王亚非</ins></a> <a title="艾克拜尔·米吉提" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/128.jpg" class="img" /><ins>艾克拜尔·米吉提</ins></a> <a title="姚爱兴" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/137.jpg" class="img" /><ins>姚爱兴</ins></a> <a title="贾宝兰" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/174.jpg" class="img" /><ins>贾宝兰</ins></a> <a title="谢卫" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/170.jpg" class="img" /><ins>谢卫</ins></a> <a title="汤素兰" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/10/176.jpg" class="img" /><ins>汤素兰</ins></a> </div> </div> </li> </ul> <ul style="display:none"> <li> 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target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/14/850.png" class="img" /><ins>学诚法师</ins></a> <a title="宗立成" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/13/848.jpg" class="img" /><ins>宗立成</ins></a> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="sliderbox" > <a title="梁凤仪" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/13/845.jpg" class="img" /><ins>梁凤仪</ins></a> <a title="施杰" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/13/842.jpg" class="img" /><ins>施杰</ins></a> <a title="张晓梅" target="_blank"> <img src="/upload/resources/image/2014/02/13/840.jpg" class="img" /><ins>张晓梅</ins></a> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="sliderbox" style="opacity:0; z-index:0;"> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="sliderbox" style="opacity:0; z-index:0;"> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="sliderbox" style="opacity:0; z-index:0;"> </div> </div> </li> </ul>  </div> </div> </div>  <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="advContent"><div><script type="text/javascript">var cpro_id = 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