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id="i2i2jyu4k" class="pv_box m_p ov_hi"> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="bw_750 fl"> <h1 class="pv_title_2"> <span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="site fr"><a href='/'>首页</a>><a href='/sqmy/'>社情·民意</a>><a href='/sqmy/nywy/'>你言我语</a></span> <span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="t" id="a1"><a href="/sqmy/nywy/">你言我语</a></span> </h1> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="pa_0_5_0_10"> <h1 class="Content_title" id="hh"> <span id="a" style="">棍棒底下出孝子？父母的爱成了孩子的负担</span> </h1> <script>/*jQuery('#hh').width(jQuery('#a').width());*/</script> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="Remark"> <span>2017年12月12日 10:49 | 作者:李思辉 | 来源：<a target="_blank">中国青年报</a></span> <span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="fr">  <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="bdsharebuttonbox"><a href="#" class="bds_more" data-cmd="more"></a><a href="#" class="bds_qzone" data-cmd="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间"></a><a href="#" class="bds_tsina" data-cmd="tsina" title="分享到新浪微博"></a><a href="#" class="bds_tqq" data-cmd="tqq" title="分享到腾讯微博"></a><a href="#" class="bds_renren" data-cmd="renren" title="分享到人人网"></a><a href="#" class="bds_weixin" data-cmd="weixin" title="分享到微信"></a></div> <script>window._bd_share_config={"common":{"bdSnsKey":{},"bdText":"","bdMini":"2","bdMiniList":false,"bdPic":"","bdStyle":"0","bdSize":"16"},"share":{}};with(document)0[(getElementsByTagName('head')[0]||body).appendChild(createElement('script')).src='http://bdimg.share.baidu.com/static/api/js/share.js?v=89860593.js?cdnversion='+~(-new Date()/36e5)];</script>  </span><span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="fr">分享到：<img src="http://www.rmzxb.com.cn/images/fx.jpg" /> </span> </div> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="text_box"> <p align="center"> <p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;"><span style="text-indent: 2em; font-family: inherit;">你很爱他，爱到严苛，他却感受不到，心中只有怨恨，悲剧因此积累而成。近日，四川大竹13岁少年袁某弑母，引起公众关注。当地警方通报称，袁某因为怨恨母亲陈七眉对他管教过于严格，持刀将其杀害。袁某的父亲称，因为“没文化”，不懂教孩子，只知道不听话就打。（澎湃新闻12月11日）</span></p><div class="i2i2jyu4k" id="cont" style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;"><div class="i2i2jyu4k" id="ozoom" style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;"><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">舐犊之情，至真至纯，世间父母，皆爱其子。然而，爱也需要讲究方式，否则就可能成为一种负担，激起一种怨愤。陈七眉夫妇爱孩子，一方面，为了方便孩子上学，倾其所有在镇上买房安家；另一方面，教育方式简单粗暴，不听话就打，这种“严格”之下，孩子如何能感受到爱？</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">“严母”已然故去，悲剧也已铸成。此事对天下为人父母者具有一定警示意义：教育孩子既要防止溺爱成病，也要警惕“过严成害”。近些年，媒体对溺爱的危害探讨较多。一些父母对孩子极尽娇宠之能事，结果养出了挥霍无度的败家子，导致了四体不勤的公主病。于是，严格管教成了很多人尊奉的金科玉律，难免矫枉过正。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">袁某杀害母亲，可能与他是留守儿童、沉迷网络游戏等因素有关，但根据其向警方提供的供词，怨恨母亲管教过于严格是最显著、最直接的原因。古语讲“棍棒底下出孝子，黄荆条下出好人”，鼓吹采取暴力手段教育孩子。那是封建家长制的旧套路，沿袭到今天断然不合适。令人忧心的是，在一些欠发达地区，特别是偏远农村地区，一些父母对棍棒的迷信依然存在。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">2007年，广州16岁少年王某经过周密的盘算、异常镇静地杀父弑母时，其父虽逃过一劫，但对儿子的残酷举动无从理解；2016年，福州一名众人眼中的完美少年吴某弑母，诸如此类令人揪心的悲剧背后，是孩子们对“暴君”不计后果的激烈反抗。长期的高压、过严的管制、粗暴打骂，如何能让孩子平和温润？缺乏与孩子平等对话、用心沟通的意识，父母的爱怎会不变成沉重负担，压得人喘不过气来？</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">今天，我们讨论家庭教育，不能再停留于“不要溺爱”的层面。溺爱尽管还一定程度存在，但拒绝溺爱已成为基本社会共识。相应的，要坚持反对束缚孩子天性、动辄打骂孩子，将其放在“反对家暴”的层面去看待。一个现代法治国家决不允许家庭暴力的出现，不论它打着什么名义。</p><p style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;">整个社会还须对家庭教育作更多的探讨，并且形成一定之原则，用以匡正父母的教育行为。父母教育孩子似乎天经地义，但父母都会教育孩子吗？知道怎么和孩子沟通，怎么站在孩子的视角、从孩子的成长特性出发去看问题吗？父母绝非天生就会教育孩子。有时候，教育父母比教育孩子更重要。谁来教育父母，这是一个问题。</p></div></div><p><br style="text-indent: 2em; text-align: left;"/></p> </div> <p class="Editor">编辑：李晨阳 </p> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="Paging"> </div> <p class="Keyword">关键词：孩子父母教育</p> <h1 class="pv_title_2 mt_15"><a target="_blank" class="more mtb_14">更多</a><span id="i2i2jyu4k" class="t" id="a3"><a ><img src="http://www.rmzxb.com.cn/images/xg_t1.jpg" /></a></span></h1> <div id="i2i2jyu4k" class="pa_0_5_0_10"> <ul class="Related_ul bh_150"> <li><a target="_blank" href="/c/2017-11-20/1875068.shtml">“25字遗书”背后是一个步步惊心的抓捕故事</a></li> <li><a target="_blank" href="/c/2017-11-14/1868924.shtml">家校关系不可能“丁是丁、卯是卯”</a></li> <li><a target="_blank" 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